~ my freaking mermaid moment~
I thought being empathy and sympathy in my work is important. I guess I was wrong or mayb I m not suitable for this job. Today I had a 70 yrs old patient . I did not call him in to the procedure room coz’ I consider his age n mobility limitation. So I thought I would wait till the doc is here n then I call him in. Then my colleagues was unhappy with what I did. She said I should have call the patient in asap. I dont understand why I have to let the poor old men wait lying on the bed when the doc is not in yet. I just kept quiet but my mind was thinking maybe I am too emotional for this job. I get mad when patients r mad at me, I cry when patients r very sick, I can b happy and sad at the same. I have too much emotions. Is being emotional is wrong? I should have been a cold hearted bastard and just do my job without thinking much. Someone used to tell me it takes a bitch to b a leader , thats means u gotta b cold hearted , strong n think logically more than emotionally. If it takes that to b a leader , I would rather not be. I cannot hide my emotions and I cant b someone cold hearted (the dolphin tattoo i had constent remind me of being kind and friendly). Maybe I should have to stick to past weird job as mermaid so I dont hav to deal with emotions, just deal with the fishes in the tank. Lol.
